| "Character is destiny." - Sigmund Freud | ||||
| 12:35am 06/01/2009 | ||||
I finally got the big CD holder thing set up in my room. I love it, dude. It's really more like a bookshelf, so I can hold more than just CDs on it. I was really needing something like that, and it's exactly my style, too. My room is slightly less cluttered now. I've been trying to get back in the habit of daily, five-minute meditation lately. I'm not doing it for any weirdo spiritual reasons this time, it's mostly just to clean the junk out of my head(one of the main reasons I keep this blog). I'm trying to practice staying in the moment and actually paying attention to my surroundings more often so I'm not just drifting away into wonderland all the time. I'm also doing the meditation in an effort to get back in touch with who I am as a person, which is something I feel I lose sight of sometimes. I'm funny, random, creative, eccentric, and philosophical. That's who I am in a nutshell. But over time, I feel like I've allowed people and society in general to come in and add all this extra stuff to my personality that doesn't belong there. Sometimes I overdo it with the smart guy crap. Sometimes I feel pissed off over things that shouldn't be important to me in the first place. Sometimes I act super serious in an effort to keep people away from me so they can't hurt me. I never had any of those traits as a kid, and now I'm wanting to get rid of all that stuff that doesn't belong there and get back to my core identity. Also, I feel like I've really found my voice as a song writer this last year or two. I've noticed that songwriting has been a lot more natural to me lately. For one thing, I can't remember the last time I used a rhyming dictionary, and I used to use one all the time. But also, the stuff I'm writing about has changed. When I first started writing songs, they were mostly about the Bush administration and the effect they were having on American culture. But now Bush is on the way out, and I feel more free to write about myself and stuff I'm going through, along with songs that are just fun and stupid. Of course, that's not to say I've given up on giving the middle finger to authority. :D That's still a pretty common theme in my work. Okay, to make up for all the psycho-babble talk, I'm gonna tell a funny work story. I was in one of the coolers the other day, breaking down a pallet with David. Now David's a pretty quiet-spoken guy like I said before, and just looking at him and talking to him, you expect him to be like a nice, old, grandfatherly-type guy. But he has this way of saying bizarre shit when you least expect it. So we were breaking down that pallet, and Robert passed by and made some kinda joke about pot or something. And David just blurted out, "I got half a doobie in my glovebox if you want it." And then when Robert was gone, he turned to me and was like, "You do that stuff, Jes? I can't go without my marijuana. I grow my own though, I can't afford it." Lol, it's like where the hell did that come from? I thought it was hilarious. |
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